Emotions

My husband and I ran away for the weekend, just the two of us, for a much needed stress-free weekend. Boy was it nice! Of course, it is Back to Reality now! Family members stress us out more than anything. Isn't that sad the way that works?

My brother has made a whole list of mistakes over the years, mostly to support his drug habit. It amazes me how he has managed to dodge the cops and avoid any serious jail time. Several months ago, he had one of his all-night binges and found himself, as usual, out of money for crack. He broke in to his girlfriend's house during the night (while she was at work) and stole her mother's gun to trade for drugs. A few days later, they realized that the gun was missing and confronted him. Understandably, her mom pressed charges. Well, he still has not gone to court for this incident. Apparently, yesterday he was scheduled for a court appearance in the county where it took place. He called all of us late the night before and early that morning saying he needed a ride. Well, we were all working! He should have made arrangements days earlier instead of waiting till the last minute and expecting everyone to rearrange their lives!

So this morning, I got off work at 7:00 a.m. and he is calling me in a panic asking me to give him a ride to his job. I go get him and you would have thought the world was coming to an end within the next 2 minutes! He seemed very jittery, not unlike the addicts I see when I pick them up in the ambulance. Does he think I am stupid? I figure he either needs a fix really bad or he has been smoking crack all night and ran out of money. His employer continues to give him advances on his pay; he now owes the company $1500, or that is the amount he told me. He was in such a big hurry to get the check and cash it, supposedly to get to the courts and turn himself in. Yet he still doesn't have a ride there today. Hmmm...

He began to get emotional, because he said he will probably go to prison and not see his son for a few years. That saddens me too, but it is unfathomable to me just how many years he has gone breaking the law and it is finally catching up to him. Another tragedy unfolds because of the evil consequences of being an addict.

What more is there to say? I am just at a loss... I have no encouraging words left, no sympathy left for those who destroy there lives willingly. I have tried to be a constant for my brother over the years. And apparently he knows where to come when he needs help. But I refuse to enable him to continue the lifestyle and make me feel sorry for him. All we can do is pray....